My goodness, it’s been awhile. I haven’t written much of anything anywhere lately; I have no soul left to do so.
But what’s been going on since my last entry? Work. Mostly work. Gaming sometimes, but mostly grinding in real life on meat slicers and burning my arms frying chicken. And the more-than-occasional “fuck you” courtesy of my uterus. I’ve been downright miserable, and the whole thing with working with the public, so over it. Especially working with backstabbers. Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything in particular.
In related news, I’ll be turning…28 for the third time in a couple of weeks. All of my friends who have done the 3rd-decade turnover thus far has been happy about it. Me? I’m going to hit it and feel like I’ve got nothing much to show for it. The only thing I can put on my resume of life is raising a child. I don’t really have any notable jobs to mention, or a college degree. Or even a driver’s license, but that might not happen without a lot of therapy for my driving phobia. Seriously, can’t even think about it without getting physically sick.
Needless to say, I feel like a failure.
I shouldn’t compare successes, but it’s really hard not to when I see my friends going for masters and some even doctorates, and here I am…feeling stuck. It’s not a good feeling either; it’s the same feeling that got me committed in 2006. I’m trying to claw out of this. But I can’t.
And it sucks.