The resume of life

My goodness, it’s been awhile. I haven’t written much of anything anywhere lately; I have no soul left to do so.

But what’s been going on since my last entry? Work. Mostly work. Gaming sometimes, but mostly grinding in real life on meat slicers and burning my arms frying chicken. And the more-than-occasional “fuck you” courtesy of my uterus. I’ve been downright miserable, and the whole thing with working with the public, so over it. Especially working with backstabbers. Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything in particular.

In related news, I’ll be turning…28 for the third time in a couple of weeks. All of my friends who have done the 3rd-decade turnover thus far has been happy about it. Me? I’m going to hit it and feel like I’ve got nothing much to show for it. The only thing I can put on my resume of life is raising a child. I don’t really have any notable jobs to mention, or a college degree. Or even a driver’s license, but that might not happen without a lot of therapy for my driving phobia. Seriously, can’t even think about it without getting physically sick.

Needless to say, I feel like a failure.

I shouldn’t compare successes, but it’s really hard not to when I see my friends going for masters and some even doctorates, and here I am…feeling stuck. It’s not a good feeling either; it’s the same feeling that got me committed in 2006. I’m trying to claw out of this. But I can’t.

And it sucks.

When you’ve had enough

So this whole “soul” thing? What is it? I’ve seem to have lost mine about 6 months ago. This is what my job has done to me. I wake up every day when I have to go in and say “ugh”. Then when I don’t work, I wake up and immediately shut off my phone.Continue Reading

Adventures in Potty Training

Rydia is a very stubborn child. I started this lovely adventure almost 2 years ago. My mom got her a potty for Christmas and basically said “have fun.” Thought that this would be easy. Everyone I spoke to said that girls were much easier to potty train. So why is mine being so damn orneryContinue Reading

2015 Goals

Alternatively named: things I probably won’t get around to in 2015. Write more. This is something that has been absent in my life for a while. But I need to channel my frustrations and depression through creativity. This is the way I do it best. Stress less. This one is hard, but it has toContinue Reading

2014 in Review: Namari’s Tradition since 2011

I’ve done this meme every December since 2011. I sometimes looks back into those past ones to see if anything has changed. Some haven’t. But this year has shown some big changes to me and my family, so why not?! 1.What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before? I used a deli-styleContinue Reading