About Nat Marie

2012-08-02131348So who am I? I jokingly say that I have an identity crisis, and maybe I do. But really, who am I? I’m a daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, fianceé, and…mother. Yes, I just tacked on “mother” at the end.

Anyways, I was born and raised in Queens, NY. I guess the area I lived in would be considered a pseudo-ghetto; decent enough to live in, but not enough rats to be considered a true ghetto. Ironically, I lived around the corner from projects, so…yeah. I currently live in Michigan with my gamer dork of a fiance, Ronnie, and our little sunshine, Rydia, after residing in Southern California for a little over 2 years. Being the youngest in my family, I was a bit spoiled. Not to the point where living 3,000 miles away from them causes me a nervous breakdown however (more irony for you–I literally had a breakdown when I actually was with them). But now I start what I call a “regenesis” of my life.

Re`gen´e`sis
n. New birth; renewal.

If the name Nat Marie sounds familiar, it’s because you may have found me on a few sites, including my 6-year-old crestfallen.nu. Under that domain, I went through some very dark times. Since then, with a new outlook on life, and even a new location, I decided that it was time to move away from that chapter. Since I like reading over what I like, I plan to archive that site at a later time.

I’ve had a pretty hard school life. I went to public schools where it wasn’t only the students making fun of my weight, but it was also some of the teachers who added on to the emotional, verbal and physical (that’s right, physical; from teachers nonetheless) abuse. What’s worse is that the schools did nothing to stop it. But guess what? I survived. I am psychologically fucked up, and it’s a long road to recovery, but…I survived. But seriously, I thought it would never end, and it ended in high school. Of course, there were a few bad apples, but as a whole I lived a “different kind of normal” life.

Speaking of being psychologically fucked up, it wasn’t until I was in college where it all came into place. I was away from home for the first time, and I was homesick, and I had a boyfriend at the time who made promises and broke them, leaving me broken. With this, the stress of school, homesickness, and practically everything that happened to me, I literally drove myself crazy. I was diagnosed with depression during college, and my meltdown just two weeks after creating Crestfallen in 2006 changed that diagnosis to an NOS (not otherwise specified) Mood Disorder. In other words, it ain’t depression, it ain’t bipolar, it’s something else and they don’t know what the fuck it is. I’ve accepted it; I do have my irritable days, but that’s usually if someone really pissed me off.

I am a hobbyist photographer, web designer, and writer, although I wouldn’t mind taking up writing as a profession. My interests do not lie there; I have my moments of video gaming. I’m a huge Legend of Zelda and Sims fan. If I’m not writing, I’m taking nature photos. If I’m not doing that, I’m creating Sims, creating dialogues, and slowly developing a God(dess) complex. If I’m not doing any of those things, I’m out with friends or running after a diva of a toddler.

To a lot of people, I also come off as “weird”. Yes, I have my quirks, but the best way to deal with to embrace them. So what if I still sleep with a nightlight and stuffed animal, even though I live with my fiance and daughter? So what if I make connections with food and people who are/were in my life? I’m not weird; I’m a different kind of normal.

I’m sure that I’m missing something, but I’m gonna stop now. I’ll leave you with this.

Censorship is the bane of creativity. Censorship is the bane of personality. So screw censorship and the stifling of your mind and go crazy!