Category Archives: Health

Implants and me: a perspective on birth control


No, I am not planning on getting boob implants or anything like that. I mean birth control implants.

I recently started on a new dose after having it in for 3 years. I had in Implanon, which is now Nexplanon. When I got it put in 3 years ago, I felt nothing. Literally–my libido died and my periods died. Too bad for the libido, since that meant no sex for months on end. But the idea of having no periods made me happy–especially since my normal cycle was unbearably heavy, and it took 9 months of pregnancy for my red blood cell count to catch up to negate what was 15 years of non-stop1 bleeding, and I was still on the low side.

So fast forward to a few months ago. Periods started back. Not as heavy, but its presence was known in many stained underwear. This had me worried since I went almost 3 years without a hint of bleeding. The preggo test was negative, so we just chalked it up to the hormone in the implant just easing up a little early. So I went to get it replaced early because my libido made a HUGE comeback and let’s not gamble.

I got it replaced on Wednesday, and I’ve been feeling like shit ever since then. I have a migraine, my arm still hurts like fucking hell, and my fucking stars, I can’t stop eating! Gonna just chalk this up to the hormones, but it seems like my periods have gone away again. So hells yea to that.

Would I recommend Nexplanon to anyone? I would. It lasts 3 years, and you don’t really have to worry about much while on it. Don’t need to remember when to take it (well, you do, but it’s not for another 3 years), and if you have heavy periods, it might help in that regard. On the flip side, there is a chance that the opposite can happen. My condolences if it does. But there is always chocolate!

  1. Not in the literal sense

Coming to terms

I’ve made myself scarce due to the volunteer job and because sometimes it’s just too painful to not be in a horizontal position, and even laying down can hurt too.

I’ve basically come to terms with me not being 100% pain-free ever again. My lower back is basically shot; no amount of painkillers will cause any relief. My ankles were always messed up from when I was 12, so there’s that. The day I become 100% pain-free will be the day I’m probably dead.

I’m coming to terms with that, and pretty much hoping for more “better days” than “worse days”. This is one of my better days.

So yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Higher beings help me.

It is currently now 9:30am, and Rydia is up and running (and causing trouble as usual) and I’m sitting here wishing so hard to find a comfortable position so that I can actually sit and not feel ungodly amounts of pain.

I’ve touched on this before, but ever since having Rydia over 2 years ago, I’ve had pretty nasty back pain. I pretty much just brushed it off with saying that I pretty much lug around a very heavy kid 1. The problem is that I no longer have to lift her as much2 and the pain is getting progressively worse. And at times, especially getting out of bed in the morning, it would sorta lock up and I can hardly move–if at all–for 10-15 seconds.

To say that I’m worried, is a bit of an understatement.


This comes at a time where it would be too costly to get to a doctor, but it’s gotten to the point where my mom is even worried. You see, back pain like this is hereditary. My mom was forced to stop working 13 years ago because her back pain got so bad. She’s had multiple surgeries for her back since then. My grandmother, now in her 80’s, forced her way to work and now she has a permanent bend. If this problem persists with me, a few things may happen:

  • Finding a job that doesn’t require heavy lifting will go from “hard as hell” to “nigh impossible”. I never cared to go back into retail, but I will if I must. If there is no solution to this problem then retail is out for good.
  • I won’t be able to lift Rydia (or her other siblings3). It’s already a strain as it is.
  • My self-worth is already in the shitter most days, can’t imagine it getting better if I can’t work or tend house like I need to/want to.
  • It gets worse and heaven forbid cripples me.

Worst part about this is that it doesn’t matter if I’m laying down or sitting, it’s fucking PAINFUL. Let’s couple that with the fact that my left leg still isn’t 100% after slipping and falling over a month ago. I’m a painful, miserable mess.

Anyways, time to try and clean up some before playing some games. Laters.

  1. she’s at or a little above 35 pounds
  2. well, more like I’m scared to shit to do so
  3. At this rate, more than likely not having any more, which is okay


That is probably the best way I can express how I’ve been feeling for the past week. I get random heartburn, can’t seem to be 100% rested even after 8 hours of sleep a night1, endless appetite…I’ve just been feeling like shit. Which is never a good thing when you’re pretty much occupied with a 2-ish-year-old with endless energy. I have no idea what the hell is going on, but it better pass, and now. Because I don’t even have the want to update this site. I could use a new layout. But sister be broke, so…yeah.

Anyways, even though I’ve been drained of whatever well-being I had, I keep on going. It’s the best thing to do.

  1. Rydia has been sleeping in till 9am, which helps, albeit barely

Zombie mommy.

Rydia is now 6 weeks old and I don’t think I can get much lower than this. Yes, I knew that sleep deprivation was part of the deal, but is it supposed to be this bad?

I’ve always suffered from insomnia, so most of my nights I’m up until 3-4 am, then I tend to take a short nap in the afternoon. If I’m lucky, I will get an 8-hour stretch of sleep. And I never sleep in past 10am. Well, on top of insomnia, I haven’t seen more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Rydia eats every 3 hours, so that’s about how long I have. She also tends to not sleep until 6am some nights, which means that I’m up for 12-ish hours.

Now because of the lack of sleep, my body itself is just breaking down.

  1. I lost 4 pounds in a month1.
  2. I’m getting more migraines.
  3. I broke into hives a few nights ago and they just went away fully today2.
  4. TMI, but the dreaded period has come back. A little sooner than it should have. Which makes everything 10 times worse. Oh and by the way, menstrual cramps suck ass; I’ve never had to say that before.
  5. I’m exceedingly bitchy. Okay, maybe “bitchy” isn’t the right term, but if you don’t get enough sleep, wouldn’t you be on edge?3

And yet, I look at my little girl and can’t help but to giggle. Especially since she, herself, gives big old smiles. And that enough makes it all not matter.

  1. That’s rare for me; I’d be lucky if I lost ounces in a month. Luckily this means that I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight
  2. Cat dander may be the cause, but stress can cause it too
  3. This can also be an effect of the period