Category Archives: In Between

The World of Nama…in list form: Part 4

worldofnamalist4

  • My last entry, if you even want to call it that, I promised a better one. It has been over a month since then (oops), but that’s what happens when the holidays kick your ass from pillar to post. I’m okay though.
  • Speaking of the holidays, mine was a blast. I went to New York for Thanksgiving, hence why I was quite scarce for a week. I will say that I will never take a bus there again. Luckily, Rydia was a trooper for most of it. But that is 36 hours that I will never get back. Those two showers were the best I’ve had in ages. And the food was great too. I spent Christmas with my little family back here in Michigan. I love my family, but the huge crowd was tiring in and of itself1. It was nice to be in a quieter situation. I worked New Years weekend, and luckily it was quiet, because after the past few months I am just pooped.
  • Speaking of poop…and pee, Rydia is finally potty-trained. Not only is she potty trained, but since she finished her last pull-up over a month ago, she hasn’t even had night accidents. I shit you not2. So what worked? Nothing. Literally, the only thing that worked was just a wait and see. She expressed her dislike for diapers, but she still used them for convenience sake. When she ran out, I did a small experiment since I couldn’t go get them right away. I noticed that for weeks she would be dry. So maybe…just maybe, she didn’t need them at night either. Sure enough, nothing. That’s an extra 20-30 bucks in my pocket! I guess it goes with her milestone patterns3; when she’s ready, she’s ready.
  • On the gaming front, I’m still playing Final Fantasy 14, and I had another stint as a game master on another game (it closed after not enough funds :() Ronnie got a PS4 for Christmas, and I’ve yet to play anything on it. Other than that not much has been going on.
  • As for my health, I have to make another appointment with my doctor and tell her that the pains are worsening and hopefully she’ll look further into it than just giving me Motrin, because clearly that’s not working. Extending my knees, particularly my left knee is almost impossible anytime I do anything overly strenuous (read: work, or excessive walking). My hands are also having a rough time. There are days where typing is ungodly painful. I would like to be able to work out, but realistically, I can barely make it through work, so the last thing I want to do is more exercise outside of the 8-9 hours that I pull a day.

Happy new year!

  1. And to say that Ronnie was culture shocked is a huge understatement!
  2. No pun intended
  3. She transitioned to milk fully a little after her first, banned the paci a little over her second birthday

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post, Complete with Turkey!

Alternatively named: I haven’t blogged in a month for reasons, and yes, I’m going to use a picture that I used 2 years ago, but shut up and stuff turkey in my mouth!

gobble-gobble-bitches-thanksgiving

A better post coming soon. I promise. Happy Thanksgiving! Don’t eat too much lest you’ll have a bigger New Year’s resolution to make!

The World of Nama…in list form: Part 3

worldofnama3

  • As my blog photo shows, when I’m not working, running after Rydia, or sleeping (and consequently having a hard time moving out of bed), Final Fantasy 14 has been my distraction from everything. To say that the past month has been rough would be the understatement of the year. I’m a level 60 Black Mage main, but I’m outfitted as a level 51 Bard in this picture, and I also dabble in healing as a Scholar (me? heal? HAHA, but it’s actually not that bad). If you’re into MMO’s, I recommend this. It took a bit for me to grow on it, especially coming from Perfect World International, but the customization is great.
  • My health is taking a dive. I mentioned back in January that I felt a mental and physical breakdown. I vowed to do something about at least the physical part since the mental part is a little harder to fix when you’re not physically able to do shit. I’ve been having back issues. As you may know1, it started a little bit before Rydia was born, but has been getting progressively worse for the past 4 years. Not only my back, but basically everything from the waist down is riddled with pain every day, sometimes all day. Then in June, I had other symptoms that were akin to pregnancy. After 2 ER trips, and multiple tests just to say “okay, you’re all good (and not pregnant)”, I decided to address everything to my doctor.
  • This should’ve been the end of it. I should’ve just told my doctor, she runs some more tests, give a diagnosis and all would be good since I would be treated. Nope. Not at all. In fact, I went to her and she ran tests for pregnancy (negative), STD’s (negative, no surprise there), and a UTI (negative). She was so sure that it was an infection of sorts that she gave me an antibiotic. Yes, she essentially was treating me for an infection that I didn’t have, that I knew I didn’t have. When all the tests came back normal, all she said was “contact me if you have questions”. Okay, then.
  • Let’s skip to this week. I’m working a lot more hours than normal since I’m the sole day baker, and they can’t retain anyone else long enough to train them properly2. I’m liking the extra hours, but my body is not, and the way it showed me was continuous pains shooting down my left leg. This has happened before. “Walking it off” helped. When I realized that walking it off wasn’t helping this time, I took painkillers. When the painkillers proved ineffective and the shooting pains went down both legs, that’s when I took action and went to urgent care.
  • What happened? Nothing. I was told to take a couple of days off to rest, take Motrin, and it should go away as it’s “most likely a pulled muscle”. Okay, a pulled muscle for 4 years?
  • So I’m looking for another solution, because when it gets to the point where you can’t even think straight because of pain, it’s about that time. I have my suspicions, but I don’t want to even talk to my doctor about it because it would probably be dismissed. I just want to feel better…before it’s too late.
    1. Or maybe not, I don’t remember if I mentioned it
    2. One quit within 3 days

The World of Nama…in List Form: Part 2

  1. Due to someone’s inability to schedule me more than 12 hours a week, I had to take on a second job. The past month and a half, I’ve been trying to juggle both, but it is now becoming even more physically and mentally taxing than what it’s worth. Furthermore, my first job has now cut my hours to even less than 12 hours (which is illegal per union rules, but fighting it is probably gonna be a loss cause anyways), thus making it hard for me to keep working there for less than $50 a week. Since I am nearly an hour away from this job, that doesn’t cover gas.
  2. Which brings me to my next point. I’m considering leaving this other job after only 8.5 months. It has been extra hard to actually gather up the energy to even go there anymore. The second job gives more hours and better hours so I can get home before 3pm every day. I’m going to try to get Rydia into preschool this year, so the hours to the new job works much better since I’ll have the rest of the day with her. Whereas if I stay at my first job, I would never see her since it would keep me there until 10:30 at night. Which also means getting shit for sleep since if I work the morning job the next day, I’d get 4 hours of sleep at most. So I’m left weighing the pros and cons of keeping both jobs…
  3. Which is not easy by any means. The pay for both of them are the same. But it’s better than nothing, and it pays the bills. However, I’m not sure if I can get everything covered on just the one income from the new job (thus far it’s been okay). If I could get another job to replace the first one that would pay more than the <50 bucks they want to throw at me a week since they're refusing to work around the other job's schedule/my sleep schedule1.
  4. Which is why I wish I could do a few writing gigs at home. That was the one thing I miss about sitting down and blogging for a few extra dollars–it wasn’t much per se, but I was able to make money off my passion. Retail has never been my passion; it has always been a means to an end. Unfortunately, the end isn’t near yet. And that sucks.
  5. So what else is happening in the world of Nama? I’m officially 3 decades old. Think that’s it though.
  1. Which is FUBAR anyways, but not getting enough sleep does nasty things to your health

The resume of life

My goodness, it’s been awhile. I haven’t written much of anything anywhere lately; I have no soul left to do so. Guess that’s what happens when life gets in the way.

But what’s been going on since my last entry? Work. Mostly work. Gaming sometimes, but mostly grinding in real life on meat slicers and burning my arms frying chicken. And the more-than-occasional “fuck you” courtesy of my uterus. I’ve been downright miserable, and the whole thing with working with the public, so over it. Especially working with backstabbers. Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything in particular.

In related news, I’ll be turning…28 for the third time in a couple of weeks. All of my friends who have done the 3rd-decade turnover thus far has been happy about it. Me? I’m going to hit it and feel like I’ve got nothing much to show for it. The only thing I can put on my resume of life is raising a child. I don’t really have any notable jobs to mention, or a college degree. Or even a driver’s license, but that might not happen without a lot of therapy for my driving phobia. Seriously, can’t even think about it without getting physically sick.

Needless to say, I feel like a failure.

I shouldn’t compare successes, but it’s really hard not to when I see my friends going for masters and some even doctorates, and here I am…feeling stuck. It’s not a good feeling either; it’s the same feeling that got me committed in 2006. I’m trying to claw out of this. But I can’t.

And it sucks.