Category Archives: Parenthood

Adventures in Potty Training

Rydia is a very stubborn child. Especially when it comes to potty training.

I started this lovely adventure almost 2 years ago. My mom got her a potty for Christmas and basically said “have fun.” Thought that this would be easy. Everyone I spoke to said that girls were much easier to potty train. So why is mine being so damn ornery about it?

I went gun ho. She had no desire to go near the potty. In fact, she ran the other way. Literally. She kinda screamed as she ran away from it. So I thought that maybe she just needs to be ready. She was showing ready signs, so we started again. She would go number 1. We cheered. Made it a big deal. Almost threw her a party, but realized that would be too expensive. Then I would start asking her. A typical conversation would go something like this:

Me: Do you need to go potty?
Her: No.
Me: *picking battle* okay.
*a minute later*
Me: Are you sure?
Her: Yes.
Me: Let’s go potty.
Her: OKAY!
*10 minutes later*
Nothing.

By “nothing”, I mean no pee, no poop, but possibly her covered in lotion, body wash, or toothpaste. Sometimes I’ll observe her and notice silent grunting. Impending number 2.

Me: Did you go poop?
Her: No.
Me: Are you lying?
Her: No.

This is frustrating, considering that she’s already in 4T-5T training pants and those are the biggest they go up to. Furthermore, you get no more than 20 in a package that costs no less than 7 bucks. Assuming she goes through a pack a week, that’s almost 30 bucks.

That’s fucking crazy.

One of the suggestions I was given was to let her go without anything on her. This wouldn’t be a bad idea if we didn’t have carpeting, let alone light carpet. Poop ain’t easy getting out of carpet. So another suggestion was to get her underwear as an incentive. However, seeing as we can only do laundry once a week if that (it’s too expensive to do laundry in my complex, so I do it at the in-laws), and hand washing actually really sucks for someone with achy wrists. I’m kinda at a loss.

But I’ll never listen to anyone who said that this would be easy. I will gladly say “bullshit” to that.

Don’t you sass me!

I swear, ever since Rydia turned two, she’s gotten more vocal with what she wants. She’s always been vocal, but now it’s turning into actual words rather than just incessant whining.1 I have to keel over when I hear stuff like this from her: (Loud noise) Rydia: What the hell is that? Me: Hey, watch… Continue Reading

The case of the wild sleeper

I have a 2-year-old who refuses to sleep in her own bed at night. I’ll do one better. She refuses to fall asleep in her own bed at night, then when she gets moved (usually by Zombie Mommy), she goes back to sleeping between her parents in the middle of the night. It’s quite funny… Continue Reading